Change Your Relationship With Grief

I don’t remember Springs being this rainy. I tend to think of them as being such an enlivening joyful time. Yet, this Spring I’m aware of people around me facing a number of challenges. It has me thinking of shadowwork. There are a number of interpretations on what constitutes shadowwork. I understand it as looking at the parts of ourselves that we don’t accept. There is value in doing this in that there tends to be fear and shame around these unlooked at and un-integrated parts of ourselves. Owning these parts of ourselves can be empowering and bring more ease to our lives.

Here is an example: When we can be okay with our own anger, when we can be okay with the parts of ourselves that want to get angry and want to make a scene, we don’t get as upset with the anger of others. It loses it’s charge. We also don’t get as upset with our escaped anger. I remember when I used to get angry – I’d get even more upset that someone had pushed me that far; beyond control!

Grief is another example. This rainy weather can really bring out our grief. Part of the negative experience of grief is our relationship to it. We think it’s a bad thing. We bring ourselves more suffering by our beliefs. I remember an Oriental Medicine Professor saying “Tears are just the Liver cleansing itself.” By other accounts the eyes are the gateway to our Hearts. Either way, I tend to see tears as the Body and Soul’s way of letting go of something. Yes, the process can be painful. When we think of it as letting go and making space for something else, the pain becomes more bearable. When we allow ourselves to feel our grief in the present moment, it does not have to build up and become overwhelming later. We can learn to see the beauty in Grief and allow it in ourselves and others.

Published by Amanda Wellman LOM

Amanda is a practitioner of Oriental Medicine and the Arvigo Techniques of Mayan Abdominal Therapy. She specializes in Women's Reproductive Health and Autoimmune Conditions. She pulls from her strong background in meditation and energy cultivation to educate on self-healing techniques.

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